Some people appear to believe that having a letter in the Granuiad is sad and I should be shamed or something. Honestly, I thought the email was going to be in some online forum thingy, not actually printed, but can I help it if even my brief flippant replies are insightful? Anyway, you can't shame me with newspaper clippings, I've had a like-cures-like homeopathic treatment against that.

Foreign workers have taken every new job in Britain for the past four years, astonishing figures show.

Is this from The Daily Mash? NewsBiscuit? No, it is the real genuine Express article. More evidence that the Express has been covertly taken over by satirists.

Vicky got a new job in September, and I'm pretty certain she isn't a migrant.